Who Says You Can’t Go Home?
June 28, 2009
“Sandy Jones is in a relationship”, my facebook updates read.
“Holy Crap? , What?, Omigod, With who?”, My mind raced. I’ve known Sandy all my life, as we have attended church together. She is 5 years my senior, and we’ve always been good friends. Sandy can best be described as introverted, kind, sweet, good with children, shy. Too shy. So shy that in the 31 years that I have known her, I have never known her to be, “in a relationship”.
A few days prior to reading about Sandy’s new status, we had chatted on facebook about my state of unrest at our church. She offered her support, and was willing to lend an ear her eyes and fingers to console me. She told me she missed us, she offered to take over some of my responsibilities until I made a decision about my future. My children have always been special to her, and she often helps me out in a babysitting bind when she is available. When we logged off of chat that night she asked me to hug my boys for her, and it hurt me to read that. Up to that point I had been thinking of my unrest, and unhappiness as something that affected only me, and that by leaving I would be making my life better, not about how I would be hurting other people. For the first time I felt a huge tug to come back, but I still held so much resentment.
Days later, as I sat at my desktop, reading the 3 little words that Sandy was now using to describe herself, “in a relationship”, I thought of all the things had missed and I would continue to miss. Sure, I realized in the beginning that I would miss some people, but I was so miserable that I really didn’t care. As I checked out Sandy’s new boyfriend’s profile, giving him my seal of approval, as if it mattered, I knew what to do for the first time in months. There were no tears, just the knowledge that I had to go back, and soon. For the first time in months there was peace in my heart. There was no more resentment, no more being uptight upon thinking about stepping foot in my church, no more desire to see if the grass is truly greener. Only guilt for some remarks I made to a prospective visitor.
The next Sunday, one week ago today, we went back, and it really and truly felt good. We said goodbye to our former pastor and welcomed our new one, both of whom I adore. I have been fortunate enough to spend time with our new pastor’s family over the past week and it has been nothing short of wonderful. Our kids really enjoy each other’s company, as do the adults. I have came to the realization that I have made the right decision, without a doubt, and it blows my mind to think that I could’ve missed the opportunity to get to know this wonderful family, (and to get the dirt on Sandy’s new boyfriend.)