Honesty Is The Best Policy……..Even On Facebook

January 23, 2009

I recently posted a “25 Random Things About Me” note on my Facebook page.  In it I noted the usual, Bon Jovi, kids, church, husband, all of the stuff you can find in the 100 things about me section, but I also listed that I am in favor of gay marriage, noting that I may lose some of my, “friends” over that stance.  The response in the last few hours has been overwhelming.

My cousin used to be my hero.  She lived in the big city (Nashville) which was very foreign and exciting to my country bumpkin self.  She often poked fun at our lifestyle down here, making us out to be simple and narrow-minded.  About 7 years my senior, her life always seemed fascinating to me.  She was allowed to do things I could only dream of, and in retrospect, I now know that her teen years were spent drinking and drugging it up with lots of  different boyfriends.  Nevertheless, I idolized her and thought I was big stuff when I would visit and sit in her room and listen to her 2 Live Crew tape.  It took years for me to realize that her actions were the result of having an absentee father.  It took me years to realize that she was really a bitch to me.

She has made a complete 180 from that rebellious teenager, eventually settling down, in the country, having 2 kids, and getting a type of religion that is sometimes scary.  She once didn’t talk to many of us for a couple of years, or come to my wedding because it came to light that my grandpa had molested me, as well as her own mother when we were teenagers.  She still talked to him, but couldn’t bring herself to have any contact with me or my immediate family, citing the fact that we condoned his behavior and never called him out on it.  She claimed that this is what God wanted her to do, even including several scriptures as reference.  I was punished because I was violated, and the man who did it came off scott-free.  The hurt from this incident is still unbearable.   I plan to blog about the whole experience one day, when I have time to deal with the emotions that will undoubtedly be brought back to the forefront of my mind. 

At Thanksgiving, an always staunch Republican, she blasted Obama non-stop, saying that the people that voted for him will see the error of their ways once she gets in office.  At one point she even said that she didn’t care for having a black president, she would just prefer one that worshiped the same God that she does.  “Wow, who’s simple and narrow minded now”, I thought.   I may be sheltered, but I can take 2 seconds to google something. 

She was the first to reply to my Facebook list, stating that she will always love me but the Bible clearly states that homosexuality is a sin.  In a facebook chat I told her that she hadn’t offended me, and that we would have to agree to disagree.  Last night one of my church friends posted this comment to my note:

here is my philosophy on gay marriage and God’s take on it…..i think that homosexuality is a form of population control….think  about it….i also think that if 2 ppl love each other they should be able to get married and enjoy all of the benifits (insurance, tax breaks, etc) that any other couple would.

That fueled my cousin’s fire, big time.  Her next comment called into question our church’s ability to educate, and asked the question, “what kind of Bible are they using there?”.   I tried to keep my reply lighthearted, stating the following:

I dont think (our church) would broach the topic of gay marriage with a 10 foot pole. The only time I can remember ever discussing it was at a Sunday night event and someone asked the former pastor, who’s reply was the same as your comment, hate the sin and love the sinner. I think there are a few people who, if they even realized there was ever a gay person that ever sat foot in there, would burn the hymnbook the gay person used and reupholster the seat they sat in, so as to not “get any on them”. lol.

I have pondered taking down the entire note, along with the comments, as this whole escapade has made me quite uncomfortable.  However, Brian has been my BFF for going on 15 years now (yeah, Brian, we’re that old) and I look at him and Alan and see a loving couple in a relationship much better than that of many of my facebook “friends”.  I want them to be happy, and to have the same rights as I do.  I know that won’t be accomplished by my one item on one list of random things, but it’s a start.  For one fleeting moment I had the balls testicles bresticles to take a stand for something that I feel is right, even though it may be unpopular amongst the group of, “friends” reading it.  It ain’t coming down.

In one of my cousin’s comments she says she has several gay friends.  I have to wonder does she, or does she just think she does?  (read it slow, it’ll make sense) Would these friends of hers continue to be her friend if they knew she takes a stand against their rights on facebook and would undoubtedly vote against them if it was on the ballot?  I think not.

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5 Responses to “Honesty Is The Best Policy……..Even On Facebook”

  1. Brian Says:

    I love you. And I admire your big breasticles.

    Even though your cousin lives in a big city, it is one of the most conservative ones in the entire country, so her view probably is the norm. While she is entitled to her opinions, I don’t see why she feels so adamant about changing yours. I’m sure she wouldn’t take so kindly to you coming on her FB page and arguing with her beliefs.

    And FIFTEEN years??? We ARE getting old. 😆

  2. Alyson Says:

    That’s exactly my opinion about the situation. It amazes me that there are so many ignorant people out there, and that I share DNA with them.

    Ok, it’s actually just going on 14 years. I was just starting my senior year of high school when we met.

    I love you too!

  3. wutupdogg Says:

    thank you for being courageous enough to speak your mind knowing that some of your family would be completely against your opinion. often we think our little observations/ comments don’t make a difference but they do to many and can help others see a different perspective.

    Thanks for the kind words, I don’t think I’ll ever change her mind, and the tension escalated after I posted this, but I really feel the need to stand up for my friends.


  4. […] 15, 2009 If you’ve been around here very long, you are aware of  my views on gay marriage.  In the last few months, many of the blogs that I read, which are penned by heterosexuals, have […]


  5. […] Of course they use  Christianity and the Bible to back their views.  You may remember that my cousin said it, and I’ve heard others say nearly the same thing.  […]


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