What I Should’ve Said……….
July 11, 2008
We’ve been scheduled to babysit for my oldest stepdaughter’s son next weekend because she’s going to see some male stripper show. The whole situation has reminded me of one of those, “What I should’ve said”, moments I had several years ago.
I had just been introduced to a friend of a friend, and we were headed out for a night on the town. My new aquaintance told me about going to see a strip show the previous week. She then pulled out a poloroid of her with some scantily clad men, pointed out two guys and declared, “I (effed) him and him”.
My response: “Uhhhh Okay”.
I was a wide eyed 19 year old virgin who believed sex should be special.
“Well, I did I swear”, she countered, confusing my apathy for disbelief.
“Uhh, okay, I believe you”. I said.
She continued muttering and swearing she was telling the truth, and was never quite convinced that I really believed her. As for me, I was unsure what exactly the approporiate response was. Should I have slapped her on the ass, and gave her a high five? Told her I would pray for her not to catch some sort of VD? To be honest, her confiding this information minutes after meeting me had me floored.
It was later that week when I realized what I should’ve said when she was convinced that I didn’t believe her. It goes like this:
“If you did have sex with 2 strippers minutes after meeting them, you’re a whore. If you didn’t, you’re a liar who, given the chance, would be a whore. Either way, you don’t make a favorable first impression.”