What I Should’ve Said……….

July 11, 2008

We’ve been scheduled to babysit for my oldest stepdaughter’s son next weekend because she’s going to see some male stripper show.  The whole situation has reminded me of one of those, “What I should’ve said”, moments I had several years ago.

I had just been introduced to a friend of a friend, and we were headed out for a night on the town.  My new aquaintance told me about going to see a strip show the previous week.  She then pulled out a poloroid of her with some scantily clad men, pointed out two guys and declared, “I (effed) him and him”. 

My response:  “Uhhhh  Okay”. 

I was a wide eyed 19 year old virgin who believed sex should be special. 

“Well, I did I swear”, she countered, confusing my apathy for disbelief. 

“Uhh, okay, I believe you”.  I said.

She continued muttering and swearing she was telling the truth, and was never quite convinced that I really believed her.  As for me, I was unsure what exactly the approporiate response was.  Should I have slapped her on the ass, and gave her a high five?  Told her I would pray for her not to catch some sort of VD?  To be honest, her confiding this information minutes after meeting me had me floored. 

It was later that week when I realized what I should’ve said when she was convinced that I didn’t believe her.  It goes like this:

“If you did have sex with 2 strippers minutes after meeting them, you’re a whore.  If you didn’t, you’re a liar who, given the chance, would be a whore.  Either way, you don’t make a favorable first impression.”


4 Responses to “What I Should’ve Said……….”

  1. bluesuit12 Says:

    HAHA!! Oh man, too bad you didn’t say that. I’ll bet her face would have been priceless. I can usually think of things to say in the moment but opt not to say them for the “just in case” factor. Maybe I should work on that, it may make life a little more entertaining.

  2. Alyson Says:

    I’m sure it would’ve been priceless! I sometimes think of things to say in the moment too, but decide not to. The good ones, like this one, I don’t generally think of until much later.

    Things would definitely be more interesting if we all said what we thought.

  3. Red Says:

    But you still love me anyway, don’t you? 🙂

    I agree with your “shoulda said” response.

  4. Alyson Says:

    LOL. I was trying to protect your identity.


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