“Pretend Dollars”

January 25, 2008

My oldest has an imaginary friend he calls, “Fred”.  Whenever something bad happens, Fred did it.  According to my son, Fred is 45 years old, has 17 kids, and works at Chuckie Cheese.  Sometimes when Fred does something bad at our house, I threaten to send him back to his house, only to be told by my son that “Fred’s house burnt, so he lives with us now.” 

Fred’s visits have been infrequent lately, and I was starting to think that my son was beginning to outgrow Fred.  However, last night apparently, unbeknownst to me, Fred was in the house.  As my son and I were laying down in his bed to say prayers and read a book, the boy wanted to trade places with me.  I refused, because trading places would put me in the inside, next to the wall, making it difficult for me to get out of the bottom bunk.  He pleaded with me to trade places, then told me that if I would trade, he would “give me one of Fred’s pretend dollars”. 

“Fred’s here?”  I asked.

“Yep, and he’s sleeping, so I’ll just run over there, and get his pretend dollar out of his wallet and give it to you.” he said.

Ok, I thought, so now he’s having delusions, accompanied by stealing, not a good sign of my parenting skills.

“Does Fred have alot of money”, I asked.

“No, just a dollar, and I’ll steal it for you if you’ll trade places”.

 Figuring I’d give him an A for effort and creativity, I agreed.  He went over to the dresser, and very quietly pretended to get out a wallet and open it, and threw a pretend dollar at me as I moved to the other side of the bed.

This morning, I asked if he thought I would be able to go by McDonald’s and get me a sausage biscuit with my pretend dollar.  His reply………

 “Yeah, if you go to Fred’s pretend McDonald’s.”


5 Responses to ““Pretend Dollars””

  1. Brian Says:

    That kid is a genius!! I think I’ll use some of Alan’s pretend dollars to buy that new DVD player I’ve been wanting.

  2. Alyson Says:

    He honestly scares me sometimes with the things he comes up with. If he’s doing this at 5, what will he be doing at 15?

    I’ll see if Fred got his paycheck yet from Chuck E Cheese, and try to get you some pretend dollars. With child support on 17 kids, there probably isn’t much left though.

  3. Oh my gosh– I adore your son! This was too precious!

    Don’t worry, my son had a pretend friend too (his name was Louie). He’s now twenty-two, and well adjusted. I visit him at the state penitentiary twice a week, and he seems to be fine. 😉

  4. indianamatt Says:

    At least he’s not taking “pretend” dollars to the local strip club! (Are you sure they are all pretend? Did you see The Sixth Sense?

  5. Alyson Says:

    @ Moonbeam: LOL. Too Funny.

    @ matt: LOL. I did see that movie, although it has been awhile. I watched it while my husband was gone somewhere, so I rented it again after he got back and told him he, “had to watch it”. 5 minutes into the movie, J says, “he’s dead, isn’t he”. It made me so mad.

    I’ll be in your area this week, my driving test in Evansville.

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