Merry Christmas To All

December 21, 2007

I’m getting an (unpaid) 4 day weekend.  Yay!  However, being as I have about 6 holiday functions to grocery shop for, cook for, and attend, and the fact that I PROMISED my oldest my undivided attention at home for those 4 days, this will probably be my last post until after Christmas. 

In thinking about my favorite Christmas songs for the Christmas meme, I completely forgot this completely inapproporiate, childish, and crude one sang by a child.  So without further ado, I leave you with this humorus Christmas classic to get through the holidays.



Mom made beans for dinner
You know I ate ’em all
She said come get your coat on we’re goin to the Mall
You’re gonna visit Santa and sit upon his knee
But all that I could think about was how not to cut the cheeseWaiting there for Santa
thought that I’d explode
The gasbubble grew bigger with every “Ho, Ho, Ho”
Tried my best to hide thought i was doing swell
But when i sit down on santa’s lap he hollored ” What’s that SMELL!!”

I farted on Santa’s lap now Christmas is gonna stink for me
I farted on Santa’s lap now I’ll get (raspberry sound) under my Christmas Tree

I asked him for a baseball
I asked him for a bat
I asked him for some ice skates but ill get none of that
I asked him for a lot of things I’ll have to do without
‘Cause when I sat down on Santa’s lap
I let one slip out


On Christms Eve I snuck out of my bed without a sound
Went down to the living room just to take a look around
It was then that i saw Santa next to the Christmas tree
His arms were full of presents and they were all for me
Put them in a pile got up to turn around
and blew a fart with such great force our tree almost came down
and so Ill always cherish that special moment when
I relized even old St. Nick rips one now and then

I farted on Santa’s lap and Christmas didn’t stink for me
I farted on Santa’s lap and Santa let one on my Christmas Tree


2 Responses to “Merry Christmas To All”

  1. David Says:

    Thank you for this wonderful xmas song!

  2. Alyson Says:

    You’re welcome. I think it’s amusing.

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