November 8, 2007
I’m sure over the past few weeks you have noticed the declining frequency of my visits, not to mention the fact that when I do visit I leave my clothes in your care for days on end. I know you felt the tension in the air last night, as I treaked out in 40 degree weather to relieve you of my towels and jeans. Surely you felt my frostbitten hands and knew that our time together must come to an end.
We certainly had a good run this year. This summer’s drought rendered you more useful than I even imagined. You saved me a fortune in electric bills while also saving the earth. You are truly amazing. So it is with a heavy heart that I feel I must inform you that I’ve decided to take a sabatical. I know it hurts, but I’m going to use the dryer exclusively for the next few months.
My decision should not be taken personally. It’s not you, it’s me. I’m too lazy to trapse out in sub-zero temperatures to save a few bucks. I’m sure you’ll understand.
I look forward to the spring, when we can be together again.