Giving Credit Where Credit is Due

October 29, 2007

Skinny Jeans, all women, and probably some men, have them.  You know the ones, in the back of the closet, that you get out every now and then and try to wiggle, jiggle, and contort yourself into.  The ones that are one size smaller than you are now.  Mine are a size 20.  I bought them years ago, before having any children, and used to wear them with some regularity.  They were broken out of retirement for a comeback tour in 2004, when I dropped a few pounds on Atkins, but since then they have taken up semi-permanent residency in the depths of the closet.

Saturday, out of morbid curiosity, I got them out.  I wiggled, jiggled, jumped and contorted, and for the first time in several years I got them zipped.  I thought to myself, “YAY, the fat elf came”.  (For explanation on the fat elf click here and go to the comment from 7/27/07).  I couldn’t wait to tell Kelly that the fat elf is real.  Then reality set in. 

I have been walking with my mom nearly every day since May, at an ungodly hour.  Not to mention the steamed veggies I have eaten at every meal for the past week.  I would’ve preferred Ruffles with my turkey sandwich, but I ate steamed veggies, and let me tell you, everyone has suffered from the steamed veggies.  They stink when they’re cooking, and once consumed they cause a stink again.  My oldest told me that I “make my farts stinky”.  As if we all run our own private fart factory and I have stink levels set to the maximum. 

After pondering my efforts, there was no way in the world I was going to let some “little person” with pointed ears and pointed shoes take credit for me getting into my “skinny jeans”.  The reward is mine, I worked for it. 

I didn’t wear my “skinny jeans” out that night, because, well….. breathing is kind of important to me, but I feel better just knowing that I’m getting closer.


12 Responses to “Giving Credit Where Credit is Due”

  1. Paul B. Says:

    Any guy that has skinny jeans needs a slap and a cheeseburger….

  2. Brian Says:

    LOL @ Paul!

    I’ve got a pair of skinny jeans from several years ago. I’d need more than the Fat Elf to get my rear-end into them now.

  3. Congratulations! This made me laugh like crazy. I’m glad you’ve opted for breathing!

  4. I have skinny jeans that I’ve never worn. Never. I bought them and they’ve never fit, but I like looking at them. Kudos to you, you’ll actually get to wear yours!

  5. alyson Says:

    LOL @ Paul. J has them, only he doesn’t call them that. I think he’s just too lazy to clean out his side of the closet.

    Brian: If you would’ve let me have your bisucits Saturday, you would be that much closer. LOL.

    moonbeam: Breathing and moving were both a hardship in the jeans. Plus, I knew that “skinny jeans” and Red Lobster weren’t a good couple.

    lwb: Funny. I had a dress like that once. Some things you just can’t bear to return.

  6. Brian Says:

    The next time we go to RL, I’ll wear my skinny jeans and just order Hurricanes. LOL!

  7. Alyson Says:

    LOL. Those were good! However, if you went ahead and ate, then drank enough Hurricane’s, you would probably vomit, thus, no calories.

  8. cowgalutah Says:

    woo-hoo! Great job.
    I’ll just keep praying for the fat elf to visit me. In fact maybe that is what the old man prays for too…I had a sweet pair of black leather pants I wore when we first started dating and he brings up how hot I looked in them back then.

  9. cowgalutah Says:

    BTW I love the new look here!!!

  10. alyson Says:

    Don’t you hate when they do that. My husband always brings up my hair from when we dated, and how much better it was.

    Thanks, I was getting tired of the green. I like your new theme too. We must’ve changed them at the same time.

  11. Red Says:

    Yayyyyyy!!! That is soo great, Alyson!
    BTW, that’s the same size as my skinny jeans, too!

  12. alyson Says:

    I was hesitant about calling them skinny jeans, but figured, what the hell.

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