October 5, 2007
In telling me about his impending divorce yesterday a co-worker of mine uttered this statement about his soon to be ex-wife, and the mother of his 2 children; “One more trip to the lawyer’s office and I’ll be through with her”.
He’s a nice guy, and a good father, and the divorce has been been nasty, but still, I couldn’t help but laugh a little at his statement. I told him, ” you will never be “through with her” because you have 2 children together”.
Since I’ve only been married once, I’m hardly a divorce expert, but after serving 8 years as a step-parent, I know a thing or two about blended families. I told him that My husband and I spent last weekend with his ex-wife, and you’re never through with the ex. Your kids will continue to have school functions, extra-curricular activities, doctor visits and birthday parties which will require you and your ex to be in the room together and either act civil to, or ignore one another. You will still have to drop off/pick up the kids at each other’s homes.
Sure, one day they’ll grow up and get their drivers liscenses’ and you’ll be free of each other for a few years, provided nothing severe happens. But guess what, when your kids grow up, if they get married, you’ll both will be at the wedding. And later, if they provide you with grandchildren, the cycle will begin again, because the grandkids will have school plays, birthday parties, etc.
When there are children involved, even after divorce, it’s still till death do you part.