I’ll Get You Mr. Murphy, and Your Little Law Too!

August 25, 2007

You’ve heard of people who can fall into a pile of manure and come out smelling like a rose?  Well, I’m just the opposite.  Today my United Methodist Women’s group is hosting our district’s Christian Mission Education Event (CMEE), and we are responsible for providing light breakfast fare as well as lunch for 75 people.  In planning for this event I knew that I would not be able to attend due to my work schedule, so I volunteered to do all the food shopping, as well as prepare the ethnic dish from Pakistan, a hummus dip, to subside my guilty conscience for not being there for the big day.  The scenario was perfect, I am the treasurer, so it would be easier for me to pick up everything and pay for it all together, rather than to reimburse 10 different people.  Also, I was scheduled to pick up my stepdaughter last night anyway, and could get everyting at the local Sam’s Club, home of swimming-pool-sized vats of coleslaw, gigantic pre-made muffins, and 55-gallon drums of coffee at discount prices.  Sounds too good to be true right?

You can guess what happened.  24 hours prior to this trip, I am informed that my step-daughter had a party to go to, pushing her pick-up until this afternoon.  With the price of gasoline, I couldn’t validate making the 100 mile round trip to Sam’s just for the things for the luncheon, so I decided to do the best I could with what was available locally.  Since I wouldn’t have my teenage step-daughter to help me wrangle the boys, finding time to do the grocery shopping was a bit difficult.  Finally, my mother agreed to pick them up from the sitter’s yesterday so that I could shop in peace. 

I left work around 3:30, and after a brief stop at the bank, I went to Save-A-Lot to get what I could.  I knew that I wouldn’t be able to get the pre-made muffins locally, so I got mixes there to make them myself.  Next, I headed to Wal-Mart to get the remaining items.  At Sam’s the huge vats of slaw are about $5.  At Wal-Mart, containers roughly 1/4 the size of those at Sam’s were $3!  Since we needed so much I decided to purchase the ingredients and make my own coleslaw.  I had never made slaw from scratch before,  but I have a food processor, so how hard could it be? 

I finally arrived home around 6.  Picked up the boys, got them settled, and was quite proud of the fact that by 7:00 I had my hummus and several dozen muffins prepared, packaged, and ready to be loaded into the minivan and wisked away to the church. Things were going great!  I cleaned up some of my mess, and took a break to spend time with the boys before tackling the coleslaw.  It was when I resumed my kitchen duties, that things went south.  I prepared bowls full of shredded cabbage, both red and green, and a bowl of shredded carrots.  When I got the last of the ingredients in the processor, I turned around just in time to see one of my full bowls tumbling towards the floor.  I lost alot of ingredients, 2 heaping dustpans full to be exact.  Also, when adding the celery salt the lid came off the container, sending the contents gushing into the bowl.  I know it’s probably wrong to swear when preparing food for church, but I couldn’t help but let a few words of the 4-letter variety escape my lips. 

Never the less, a taste test proved the slaw edible, I just hope it is enough for the crowd.  I’ll probably think twice before I volunteer to do so much work again. 


7 Responses to “I’ll Get You Mr. Murphy, and Your Little Law Too!”

  1. Brian Says:

    Oh, no!! At least it tasted okay and I’m sure no one will be the wiser.

    I’ve never had hummus, but it doesn’t sound very good. 😆

  2. Alan Says:

    As long as that cabbage wasn’t on the floor more than thirty seconds, you would have been justified putting it back in the bowl. Of course, a dirty dustpan probably nullifies the thirty second rule, but hey, a little diarrhea never killed anyone… well, maybe not.

  3. Brian Says:

    Don’t listen to him. That’s disgusting!

  4. ALYSON:
    WELL, I love the title to this blog!!!

    You are a amazing woman to get all that accomplished and especially with 2 little one’s.

    I would have drove to Sam’s…I know this may sound cheap, but surely the church could have rembursed you for the gas?

    ALAN: YUCK!!!!

    BRIAN: I know this is kind of unrelated but do you remember that time Mrs. Cheryl made us Chocolate Chip Brownies and it had tons(lol) of dog hair? YUCK!!!! I think after that is when I started checking my food as I ate it.

  5. HEY! THANKS for adding me to your blogroll!! It’s a honor.

  6. alyson Says:

    You guys are all so funny. Actually, the dressing hadn’t been mixed into the cabbage yet, so I could’ve simply washed the cabbage off and used it anyway. Unfortunately I didn’t think of this until my husband pointed it out the next day.

    It all worked out in the end, because we only had about 45 people, so there was plenty of slaw.

    Brian: I didn’t taste the hummus either, the smell was enough for me!

    Alan: Funny you should say that about diarreha, I will address that in my next blog.

    Stilldreaming: It’s my pleasure to add you! Although since the 4 of us are the only ones that read this, don’t expect any hits from it. LOL.
    Thanks for the compliments. Also, regarding the dog hair, I once vomited up my Thanksgiving dinner into my plate at someone’s house upon finding tons of dog hairs at the bottom. Now I insist on hosting all the dinners at my home, and only eating my own stuff.

  7. Brian Says:


    Yes, I do remember the dog hair. I think I just vomited a little in my mouth!

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